Let me just say in advance that this is going to be a whiny post... Feel free to look away.
K and I have been trying to get pregnant each cycle since October, and I just haven't felt like saying anything about it. Really "trying" for us includes using ovulation predictor kits, traditional Chinese herbs, acupuncture, and timing sex. I at first didn't say anything because I know it can take a while for us, getting pregnant doesn't mean I'll stay pregnant, and I was going into this with a good attitude - unhappiness with not getting pregnant was not going to take over my life. But, frankly, I can feel the unhappiness starting to creep. It is different than last time - having a live child means that, as of now, the sense of desperation is not there - but the unhappiness with not getting pregnant is starting to become an undercurrent.
Part of me feels like it should be easier... I've had a live baby, damn it, I should be able to produce another. Part of me is frustrated because my options are limited...Because of my endometriosis, I can't use Clomid or the other systemic drugs - it makes the endo alot worse, making it that much harder to get pregnant. I'm pretty sure that that is what the RE is going to offer if I go back to him, and I am not sure if he would even consider injectables (which talk more directly to the ovaries than Clomid). The only thing that worked with M is what we are doing now....which doesn't seem to be working this time.
I'm currently on cycle day 26, 10 days post ovulation. My period has not started yet (it is expected around Wed - I seem to have a 27 day cycle now), but this cycle feels mostly over. The thought of more waiting makes me tired - period starts, two weeks until ovulation, two-ish weeks before it all starts again, ad infinitum.